Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize