She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
