we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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