just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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