The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
