hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
