I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
