Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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