what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
