so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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