I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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