how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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