I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
