is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can text with my tongue
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
