Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
