Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I intend to get homeless drunk
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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