Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
