i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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