Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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