Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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