I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
