Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
