he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
