Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Someone shit on the floor
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
