You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize