You work out of a Hotel?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
