We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
