You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
