So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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