You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
