hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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