maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh god it's open bar.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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