would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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