Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
