it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
