I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize