There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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