I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
