You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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