Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize