Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
