i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
