party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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