I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
