from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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