I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize