Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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