just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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