You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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