made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
