i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
