your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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