so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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