i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I skipped work to stalk him.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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