How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
