you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
