So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
