Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
